Break Room: Las Vegas
by BlkRse
Summary: Events that takes place in the break room. Story doesn't go in any particular order as far as timeline goes.
1. Crap in the Coffee Pot

**A/N:** _Random events that take place in the break room. Have fun._

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing_

Catherine sat in the break room in the middle of her shift. Tears trailed down her face. Catherine didn't usually show her feelings, not like this and most definitely not at work. But she couldn't hold the tears back. Couldn't keep from expressing the pain she felt from this…this… injustice.

She was so caught up in her grief that she didn't notice Grissom swiftly enter the room.

He opened the fridge, intent on finding God knows what, when he heard Catherine sniffle. Grissom stood to his full height and turned to look at his colleague.

Catherine's eyes and nose were red from crying and sniffling. Her hands clutched a coffee mug that sat in front of her, apparently untouched.

Grissom had come across a crying Catherine before. But every time she had gone to him for comfort, this was different. Grissom didn't know what to do if she didn't ask for help.

"Catherine?" he asked softly.

She responded with a slow head shake. Not one that said 'no', one of disbelief. Grissom moved cautiously to sit across from Catherine.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Catherine continued to shake her head as she slowly pushed the coffee mug towards Grissom. He gave her a questioning look. Grissom took the mug and raised an eyebrow in question, to which Catherine only replied with a sniffle.

Grissom observed the coffee mug carefully. After deciding that nothing looked out of the ordinary, he took a generous sip. Almost immediately, Grissom understood Catherine's tears.

_Oh my God_, thought Grissom. It didn't even taste like coffee. It tasted like…hell Grissom couldn't find the right words to describe this mystery liquid pretending to be coffee.

Grissom's confusion was very much apparent on his face. His eyes sparkled with unshed tears. _Why,_ he thought. Over and over again, that was all he asked himself. A lone tear trailed down his cheek. Grissom, not use to such sensation, wiped his cheek with a look of bemusement.

"I made one cup before that one." Catherine said quietly, "I thought it was something I did but…" Words failed her as she relived the experience. "So I dumped it." she said, her voice cracking, "When I tasted that cup, I knew. Grissom, I just knew." Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

Grissom's heart went out to Catherine. She didn't taste the 'coffee' once like he had. No, she tasted it twice.

His hand reached across the table and covered hers. Catherine gave a smile of thanks. She also smiled because she knew Grissom would find out who made that crap in the coffee pot and give them a few choice words.

Catherine and Grissom's moment was broken by Jim Brass.

"You guys drank the coffee, didn't you?" he said from the doorway. Brass didn't really need an answer. Grissom's moist cheek was answer enough.

"Did you?" Catherine asked quietly.

Jim visibly shuddered at the memory. He'd been trying to get the taste out of his mouth for almost an hour.

"If I find the bastard that made it, I'm gonna tear him a new ass." His tone was lighthearted, but the three of them knew he was serious.

"Starbucks on me?" Brass offered.

Catherine wiped her face as Grissom stood up. The three of them knew this incident would never be spoken of again…at least not without a bottle of Scotch.


	2. Snapped!

**Disclaimer:** _Me no own. You no sue._

This wasn't one of those slow nights in which there was an easy open and shut case. In fact, there were no cases at all. This was one of those nights when the entire county decided to stay at home and read books about anger management.

End result: the nightshift of the Las Vegas Crime lab did the only thing they could do (and the last thing they wanted to do), paperwork.

The mountain of files on Grissom's desk was quite intimidating. But he had conceded that the pile would only rise if left unattended. Fortunately for him, Catherine, having already finished her paperwork, was feeling generous. She figured she may as well help bring down the mountain, or at least try to keep Grissom focused on the task at hand.

Warrick and Nick sat beside each other at the break room table opposite Sara and Greg.

It took Warrick ten minutes to realize he had been reading the same sentence without absorbing a single word. He finally gave up and decided to watch the other occupants of the room.

Warrick noted quickly that Sara was mumbling to herself, the volume in her voice very low but rising a bit with each repetition. He had no idea what she was saying. Nick kept tapping his pen on the table rather impatiently. Greg, who couldn't sit still for too long to begin with, was taking his frustration out on his neck, which was turning red from rubbing it too much.

_Someone is gonna crack,_ Warrick thought, leaning back in his seat. All three of his co-workers seemed to be on the brink. But if he were to venture a guess, Sara would snap first.

And she didn't disappoint. Nevertheless, Warrick was caught off guard when Sara snatched Nick's pen, tossed it across the room, grabbed Greg's restless hands and slammed them on the table. No one dared move as she closed her eyes and tried to take a few cleansing breaths. Failing, she tilted her head back and yelled "I HATE PAPERWORK!"

Greg was next to lose it as he fiercely reclaimed his hands and stood from the table. "I want to stab someone," he said, pacing "just so I can process something!" Greg's hands took mercy on his neck, and chose to rub his face instead.

Nick simply got up to leave.

"Where you going?" Warrick called after him.

Nick never turned around. He just lifted his hands in defeat and kept walking.

Both Warrick and Sara were left to watch Greg pace with expressions of amusement on their faces.

Greg's body was in the lab, but his mind was not home at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep…_Beep._

He just couldn't stop. Back and forth. Back and forth. Pacing.

After watching for six, yes six, minutes, Warrick and Sara were becoming concerned. At this point, Greg had stopped ranting in English and switched to Norwegian.

_This has got to stop,_ Warrick thought. But as he was about to speak up, Catherine entered the room followed by Grissom who was holding an assignment slip.

"B&E in Hen…"

"I'll take it!" Greg said, cutting Grissom off and snatching the paper. He practically ran from the building.

"Do we even want to know?" Catherine asked, getting a cup of coffee.

"No." Sara replied quickly.

Grissom and Catherine left as quickly as they came. Sara and Warrick had already gotten back to work as Nick reentered the break room. Without a word, he picked up his pen and refocused on his paperwork as if he never left. But something was missing.

"Where's Greg?" asked Nick.

"Case in Henderson, I think." answered Warrick without looking up.

Nick forced a smile on his face as he, once again, got up and walked towards the locker room.

Warrick only shrugged at Sara's questioning look and got back to work.

Both jumped when they heard a loud but muffled 'DAMMIT' come from the locker room.


	3. How to Wake a CSI

**A/N:** _Mad thank yous to those who reviewed. I'm just getting started._

**Disclaimer**: _I don't own anything. I'm gonna go cry now…_

Detective Sofia Curtis checked in ballistics, DNA, and fingerprints with no such luck. She even thought of asking Hodges in trace, but almost immediately changed her mind.

_Where the hell is she_, Sofia thought, _and why isn't she answering my page?_

Sofia headed towards Grissom's office, hoping he knew where she was.

That idea flew out the window as soon as she glanced in the break room.

Greg was on the far right side of the couch, rubbing his butt on the seat like it itched. Someone else was bent over the far left end of the couch, giving Sofia a wonderful view of their ass. And Sofia knew that ass anywhere. Hell, she could pick that ass out in a crowded room blindfolded with the lights turned off.

She cleared her throat loudly, causing Greg to jump from the couch and Nick to whirl around so fast he almost lost his balance. They both looked very guilty of something.

Walking fully into the room, Sofia found the person she was looking for. Sara was laid out on the couch, very much asleep. Greg had been sitting on her legs.

"What were you two doing?" Sofia asked.

"We...uh…were j-just trying to wake her up." Nick admitted. He clearly felt guilty. Sara was pulling (another) double shift.

Sofia smirked, turned to Sara's sleeping form and tossed the case files on Sara's stomach.

"We got an ID on Jane Doe." Sofia spoke to Sara as if she wasn't asleep. "Her name is Trish Nolan. The parents have been contacted and are on their way to the station."

Greg and Nick looked at Sofia like she lost her mind. Sara was obviously sleeping and Sofia was having a very one-sided conversation with her.

They had pinched, poked, shook and yelled trying to wake up Sara and she didn't even budge. Nick even risked opening her eyes and all she did was grunt.

_She may as well be in a coma,_ Greg thought.

Sofia was halfway to the door when she heard her name.

"Why didn't you just page me?" asked Sara with her eyes still shut.

"I paged you six times. Maybe you need a new battery." Sofia suggested before leaving.

Sara sat up and quickly thumbed through the case file Sofia gave her. Something must have caught Sara's interest, as her eyes grew wide. She stood up, eyes still on the file, and walked towards Grissom's office mumbling to herself.

Nick and Greg shared a sigh of relief. They were sure they would feel the Wrath of Sara Sidle.

Greg was mid-victory dance when he heard "Oh and guys…"

Nick tried to play it cool while Greg was openly frightened.

"Yeah Sara?" they answered.

"If you ever touch me while I'm trying to sleep, I'll break your fingers." Her gaze then shifted to Greg. "And if you ever rub your ass on me in any shape or form ever again," she looked around for witnesses, "they won't find your body."

With an evil smile on her face, she left.

Greg gulped. "She's not serious is she?"

"A well rested and fed Sara? No. But a tired and hungry Sara? I wouldn't put it past her." Nick answered gravely.

"Nick?" Greg squeaked.

"Yeah."

"You got my back?"


	4. Behind Closed Doors

**A/N**_**: **__Thanks for leaving reviews. They make me feel special_.

_I'll be dropping subliminal pairings here and there...which isn't so subliminal since I just told you..._

_Anyway..._

**Disclaimer:** _Anything you recognize isn't mine. The mistakes, however are mine. All mine. Na na-na-na-na, no you can't have any._

The loud growl in Wendy Simms' stomach would no longer be ignored.

"Okay, okay. I get it." Wendy said softly. "Feeding time."

She managed to clear her work station and remove her lab coat before her stomach growled again.

"I'm going." She said.

_Wow. Get a grip Wendy. You're talking to yourself again._

"Well, I would talk to someone else, but there's no other genius around." Wendy laughed to herself.

Upon approaching the break room, she noticed that the blinds and door were closed. Wendy reached for the door knob, but the tone in Nick's voice stopped her.

"Come on, please?" Nick begged.

_Nick begs?_

"I don't know, Nicky." came Sofia's voice.

"All you gotta do is pull on it." Nick whined.

_What the hell?_

"We don't know it's out of place." Sofia reasoned.

"Well it damn sure ain't broken." Nick argued. "I know what that feels like."

_Do I even want to know?_

"I'd rather you see Robbins…"

"No. Look, Fia, you're already here and I'm here. It's not broken, just pull it." Nick insisted.

Sofia must have been considering because the room was silent.

"What are you doing here?"

Wendy turned and punched Hodges in the face.

"Oh, shit Hodges!" Wendy reached out to see if he was bleeding.

"Jeez, Simms. What the hell?" groaned Hodges.

"I'm so sorry." Wendy giggled after she saw he was okay. "You scared me."

"You punched me." Hodges was still shocked. "What are you doing?" he asked again.

"Listen." Wendy motioned for Hodges to stand next to her.

"Listen? To what?"

Wendy shushed him as Sofia spoke again.

"Just a quick tug, okay?" Apparently Sofia had agreed to whatever it was that Nick wanted.

"You ready?"

"Let's just do it." Nick replied impatiently.

Hodges gave Wendy an 'are-they-doing-what-I-think-they're-doing look'. Wendy only shrugged as Sofia started counting.

"One, two, thr-"

"Wait!" Nick yelled, stopping Sofia.

"What?" There was concern in Sofia's voice.

"Maybe I should go see Doc Robbins." Nick said softly.

"What?" Sofia was obviously irritated.

"I mean it's really gonna hurt." Nick whined.

"Nick, give it to me. It's just your p-"

"JUST, Sofia? JUST!" Nick sounded offended. "It's JUST a VERY sensitive extremity! That's JUST what it is!"

_They're not talking about…_

"Nicky, do you trust me?" Sofia asked.

"What kind of question…"

"Yes or no, Nick." she pushed.

"You know I do, Fia." Nick answered softly.

"Good. Now, give it to me. One quick tug and it's all over. Okay?" Sofia sounded like she was talking to a small child.

"Okay." Nick said. "On three?"

"Uh huh. One…"

Nick's sudden yelp made Wendy and Hodges jump in surprise.

"You didn't wait 'til three." Nick whimpered.

"Walk it off cowboy." Sofia said playfully.

"That wasn't fair." Nick hissed.

"You're welcome."

"Oh, thank you, honey." Nick said sarcastically. "You're so good to me."

"Is he serious?" whispered Hodges.

"I don't know." Wendy whispered back. This was strange on so many levels.

"Let me see it." commanded Sofia.

"Why? Are you gonna kiss it?"

Wendy was anxious to hear an answer when a cell phone rang.

"Curtis…Yeah…Okay, tell them to sit tight. I'm on my way."

"Good news?" asked Nick.

"A couple uniforms picked up my suspect." Sofia's voice was getting closer to the door. "I'll kiss it later but put ice on it so it won't swell."

"Yes mommy."

"I thought we agreed not to call me that on the clock, Stokes." Sofia retorted as she opened the door.

Wendy and Hodges were smart enough to step away from the door. But Sofia could tell by their facial expressions that they heard some of what was going on.

Sofia, not really caring, smiled at them and went in search for Brass.

Both lab techs watched Sofia walk out of sight before entering the break room.

Nick turned from the freezer to the sound of footsteps.

"Hey guys." he greeted weakly.

"Hey Nick." Wendy greeted back.

Hodges didn't speak until Nick stepped away from the freezer.

"What happened?" Hodges asked.

"Jammed my damn pinky in the door." Nick said, motioning to his hand with the ice pack on it. "Sofia was nice enough to yank it out for me."

"Oh."

_What else would they be doing in here?_


	5. Superman vs Batman vs Nevermind

**A/N:** _I'm spoiling you guys. Three chapters in one day. Your reviews keep me going. So thank you very much._

**Disclaimer:**_I don't own ANYTHING. I barely own this computer. And I DAMN sure don't own __**The Man.**_

It was Friday. And Sofia was late.

_Now I have to pay for their drinks, _she thought as she walked briskly to the break room.

Friday held a lot of meaning in the crime lab. People would look forward to taking a break from death everyday. Some Fridays were even pay days.

But Fridays meant something a lot more significant for the nightshift. On Fridays, they ate breakfast together. But no one was allowed to leave until they figured out who would pay the check.

And that was what Sofia was late for.

"He doesn't do that."

"Yes he does. You know he does!"

Nick and Warrick were in the middle of a heated debate when Sofia entered. Grissom gave her a sad look. She knew what it meant.

_I'm definitely paying for drinks_, she thought.

Sofia stood beside Brass who was leaning against the counter in front of the coffee pot.

"What did I miss?" she asked quietly.

"Who's the better hero." Brass answered. "There was a lot more suggestions, but it's boiled down to Batman and Superman."

"Who are you going for?"

"Batman. You?"

Batman." Sofia answered with a smile.

"Superman would mop the floor with Batman." Nick argued. _I am not paying this week._

"I'm sure he would if he could, but he won't because he can't." Warrick stated calmly. In his mind, he had already won.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Greg asked.

"Superman's a 'boy scout'. Besides in a fight, Superman wouldn't be able to get close to Batman." Warrick said matter-of-factly.

"How you figure?" Catherine had always been a Superman fan.

"Batman keeps kryptonite in his utility belt." answered Sara.

Grissom looked at her in confusion.

"Exactly." Warrick

"Site your source." Grissom challenged.

Sara shifted in her seat. "My roommate in college had a crush on him."

"If you take away his utility belt…"

"That's like taking Superman's powers, Nick." rebutted Grissom.

"How long have they been at it?" Sofia whispered to Brass.

"Too long." Brass was really hungry and just wanted to eat. _Besides,_ he thought_, I got a Lady at home waiting for me._

"I have an idea."

_I love the way she thinks,_ Brass thought after he heard Sofia's plan.

Not only would this plan end the debate, but she wouldn't have to pay for anything.

Sofia waited until Brass gave her the signal.

"In a fair fight, utility belt and all, Batman would win." Brass said.

_There's the signal, _thought Sofia.

"Aren't you guys forgetting someone?" Sofia asked. Brass had to keep himself from grinning. "You know, the Man."

Everyone froze. They knew who she was talking about. The debate had suddenly turned into a Sudden Death Match. They had played this game before. Hell, the entire lab played it. But it all came down to Grissom. They all turned to him, waiting. It was his call.

Grissom sighed at everyone's pleading looks. He wasn't going to say it, but his stomach chose that moment to growl.

Grissom gave Sara a meaningful look before he said firmly, "Chuck Norris."

"Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks." Sofia wasted no time eliminating herself.

"Chuck Norris refers to the Reaper as 'a promising rookie'." Brass said quickly.

"Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse." said Catherine. "Horses are hung like Chuck Norris."

_Oh crap,_ Greg was panicking,_ think Greg. THINK!_

"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits." Sara said.

"Leading causes of death in the U.S. are heart disease, Chuck Norris and cancer." Grissom smiled. "In that order."

Nick was not going to lose. "Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won."

It was down to Warrick and Greg. Sweat was beginning to form on Greg's forehead.

Warrick was his signature calm as he said, "Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door."

"DAMMIT!" yelled Greg.

"Food's on you, Greggo." Catherine teased.

"That's not fair. Sofia was late." Greg was not going down without a fight.

"Then I'll pay the tip Greg." Sofia offered.

"But…"

"You know the rules Greg." said Grissom.

As they walked out of the building, Catherine fell into step with Sofia.

"I wonder if Chuck Norris is hung like a horse?" wondered Sofia.

Catherine smirked as she put on her sunglasses.

"You don't question Chuck Norris."

**A/N 2: **_I'm sorry. I had to get it out of my system._


	6. Pleading Insanity

**A/N**_**: **__Yay reviews! Thank you._

**Disclaimer**_**:**__I'm beginning to run out of ways to say I don't own anything..._

Upon entering the break room, Brass could tell Sara was pissed off. She was slouched over, elbows on the table with her face in her hands. Sara's knee was bouncing up and down like she had to pee.

"Sara."

When she looked up, Jim _knew_ she was pissed.

_Her eye is twitching,_ he thought, _Oh crap._

Sara's eye would not stop twitching. What made matters worse was, it was her right eye, not the left one, that was going berserk. If it were her left eye, whatever caused the twitch could be rectified. But the right one…the damage had already been done.

_Alright Jim. Don't provoke her. _He thought. _That'll only make it worse._

"Your eye is twitching kiddo. Who did it?"

Sara broke eye contact and started playing with her thumbs.

_At least she's thinking about it._ Brass thought.

He didn't want to push, but after a few minutes of silence, Brass knew he had to.

"Talk to me Sara."

"It was my fault really." Sara started, "I mean I should have been paying better attention. It was right there. I should've known better. But I was processing a scene for eight hours without a break. Anyone could have made that mistake right? Besides I haven't had any coffee. All I wanted was some coffee. I wasn't as alert…"

"Sara!" Brass had let her ramble long enough. He was left with more questions than before. Like what mistake?

_Did she compromise a case?_

"What happened? Start from the beginning, okay?" prompted Brass.

"Have you been to that new Starbucks by the high school?" sighed Sara.

Brass nodded is head slowly. _What has that got to do with anything?_

"I went there after the scene." Sara said. "So, I go in and there's a line."

Brass nodded again.

"I wasn't in there for two minutes when this teenaged couple came in." Sara said standing. "No big deal right? I mean I am across the street from a high school and I guess school was about to start right?"

Sara was pacing. "And then she just wouldn't stop saying it Jim!"

Brass watched Sara for a minute before asking, "Am I supposed to know what 'it' is?"

Sara stopped pacing to close her eyes and pinch the bridge of her nose before whispering "Babe."

_Uh oh._

"It was **babe** this and **babe** that." She had gone back to pacing. "**Babe** I want a Venti. **Babe** let's share a lemon loaf. **Babe** lets skip fourth period. Babe I forgot my homework at home. **Babe** we still need to get gas…"

Sara was on a roll. Brass knew that if he didn't stop her soon she would go off into a full blown rant that no one would be able to stop.

"Sparky, slow down before you hurt somebody."

Shouldn't have said that.

"That's just my point!" Sara exclaimed. "I couldn't take it anymore. Lucky for her I left my gun in the car."

_She's not serious, _Jim thought. But after watching her for awhile, he knew she was _very _serious.

"I went to the car to get it when I thought better of it came straight back here." Sara was still pacing. "Now, I've got a headache because I keep hearing her voice in my head _and_ no coffee."

"You were going to shoot her? And then what, plead insanity?" Brass asked.

Sara stopped pacing and gave him a thoughtful look. "You think I'd get away with it?"

Brass didn't verbally answer. _From what I just saw, she may have been able to pull that off._


	7. Wrong

**A/N: **Thank you for the reviews. You know who you are. Yeah you...Right there. Thanx.

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything. So don't sue me. Suing me would only get you lent, a bottle cap and a key that unlocks nothing..._

"Hey Jim."

"Hey Catherine." Brass greeted back. "Headed to the break room?"

"Yeah." Catherine said. "Sara paged you too?"

"She sent me a text." Brass answered. "Something about an announcement."

Catherine nodded. "What do you think it's about?"

"I try not to speculate Cath." Brass replied. "It makes me look like an ass."

"But," Catherine paused, "you speculate all the time."

"I know."

Catherine started to chuckle but stopped when she saw Grissom. He was standing in the middle of the break room, his hands in his pockets and eyes on the floor. He looked like a kicked puppy. Sara, however, looked quite smug. She was sitting on the couch with her arms and legs crossed.

Greg and Warrick were leaning against the counters. Nick and Sofia were seated opposite each other at the table. Each person wore an expression of curiosity coupled with concern.

"Hey guys." Catherine tried to sound casual. "What's up?"

"Grissom," Sara drawled "has an announcement to make."

Grissom sighed wearily as a look of defeat crossed his face. He murmured something completely inaudible.

Sara, still smug, leaned forward. "I don't think they heard you." she mock whispered.

Grissom sighed again and said, "I, Gilbert Grissom, am wrong."

Brass, not missing a beat, grasped Catherine's upper arm with his left hand and clutched his chest with his right.

"Great Grissom." Catherine joked. "You're giving Jim a heart attack."

Everyone laughed. Everyone except Grissom. He was too busy scowling to laugh.

"Wait a second." Warrick interrupted, quieting the room. "I hear something."

"I hear something too." Catherine said quietly. "You hear that Nicky?"

Nick nodded. "Oh yeah, I hear it."

"It's getting louder." Greg added.

"Hear what?" Grissom asked.

"The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse." quipped Brass.

Grissom scowled again as the others laughed.

"What was he wrong about?" asked Sofia.

"Math calculation." Sara replied.

"It was a slight miscalculation." Grissom defended.

Sara rolled her eyes. "You were off by two decimal places."

"Simple mistake and easily fixed." Grissom muttered.

"He was probably distracted." Nick said.

"How could he have been distracted?" inquired Sara.

"Well, were you leaning forward?" Greg asked Sara. "Because I forgot where I was when you leaned forward a second ago."

Sara's jaw dropped. "It's just a V-neck!" She turned to Grissom. His blush was confirmation. "I'm gonna go change." she said as she headed towards the locker room.

Brass and Catherine chuckled as they left. Nick and Greg made to follow them out but Warrick stopped them.

"Whoa whoa! Where you two going?"

"Yeah, I believe you guys owe us money." Sofia added.

Nick and Greg grudgingly reached into their pockets. Nick gave Warrick a twenty and Greg gave Sofia a ten.

"You guys made a bet about me?" Grissom was slightly hurt.

"Gris, if you knew how many pending bets there are and what they're about," Warrick answered sitting down, "you wouldn't come to work."

"Isn't there a bet about that too?" Greg asked.

"More like a pool." said Nick as he and Greg left.

Grissom wasn't sure he wanted to know, but his curiosity got the better of him. "What was this bet about?"

Warrick eyed him carefully before answering. "Nick bet you were never wrong. I bet him you can be."

_Well that's not THAT bad,_ thought Grissom.

He turned to Sofia. "What about you and Greg?"

"Whether you're human or not."

Warrick laughed wholeheartedly when Grissom stomped off to his office.


	8. The Prophecy

**A/N: **_Thanx to the few who review. Friggin love you guys._

_I've come to realize that I have this thing about torturing Greg...I shall ponder this as you read..._

**Disclaimer:**_ I own no one and __nothing_

Catherine kept tapping her fingers on the table hoping it would calm her nerves. It didn't. She was at her wits end. It had been funny at the start of shift but now it was just downright irritating. Catherine didn't want to kill him, she honestly didn't. But if he said it one more time…

"I'm gonna go get our test rests from Wendy, in acc-…"

Catherine jumped up and gripped the sides of Greg's face. Greg had yelled in pain and surprise but her death glare silenced him. He winced in pain but Greg didn't make a sound. He was too afraid to. Greg had never seen Catherine like this before.

Truthfully, it was a shame that in a building full of investigators, no one noticed Catherine gripping Greg's face. These people were paid to notice things that others would miss for goodness sake! Greg was disappointed and quickly gave up hope.

_I'm going to die in the lab, _Greg thought.

Brass had been the only one to notice, and he wasn't even heading towards the break room. He was looking for Grissom. Before he could take action, Brass was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. It was Warrick.

"I got this Jim." He said quietly. Warrick's eyes stayed on Catherine.

"You sure 'Rick?"

"Oh yeah." Warrick said.

Brass nodded reluctantly and continued on to Grissom's office.

"Catherine." Warrick stepped slowly towards her. "Why don't you let Greg go?"

Catherine's grip only tightened and Greg hissed in pain.

"Catherine." Warrick stepped behind her. He was in arms distance now. "Easy now, okay?"

"He's been saying it all night." she wheezed.

"I know. Believe me I wanted to drop him all night." Warrick slowly grabbed Catherine's wrists, but she still gripped Greg's face. Warrick was close enough to whisper in her ear. "Kitty Cat," Catherine's grip loosened at the endearing nickname, "killing Greg in the middle of the crime lab isn't going to solve anything."

She turned to look at Warrick the best she could. "Let him go." Warrick said with an encouraging nod.

Catherine closed her eyes and let go. Warrick, still holding Catherine's wrists, held her in a hug and rocked her soothingly from side to side.

Greg was free, but he didn't even think about moving. He kept his eyes on Catherine and he heard Warrick say something that sounded like 'Lindsey' and 'breakfast', but nothing really computed. Greg did not move or blink for fear of a relapse from Catherine.

After a few more reassuring words, Warrick gently but firmly led Catherine from the break room.

As soon as the clicking of Catherine's heels had faded, Greg dropped to his knees and started to shake. By the time Grissom walked in ten minutes later, Greg was rocking back and forth.

"Greg?" No response. Grissom kneeled next to Greg and lightly shook his shoulder. Greg immediately responded.

"I t-t-thought she was going to k-kill me." Greg stuttered. "My life f-f-flashed before my eyes G-Grissom. I t-thought I was gonna d-d-die."

"Um, Grissom?" Nick and Sara stood just inside the room. "What's wrong with Greg?"

Grissom didn't want a scene. "Nick, take Greg to the locker room please."

Nick did as he was told and help the stuttering stumbling Greg Sanders out of the break room.

"Do you know what that was about?"

Sara shook her head. "I don't know. But for some reason, I think it has something to do with Greg ending just about all of his sentences with 'in accordance with the prophecy,'"

Grissom frowned. "He did that all night."

"That's what I heard." Sara said. "He'll live to process another scene."

"…in accordance with the prophecy."

Sara groaned. "Don't start."


	9. Worth It

**A/N: **_Have you had your healthy daily dose of GSR? No you haven't? Well here it is!!_

_I've already written the end to this, for all good things must end. Too much will kill ya. It's up to you guys. Is this my way of shamelessly asking for reviews? Yes, yes it is._

**Disclaimer:**_ I know that you know I don't own anything._

"There you are." Grissom said. "I've been looking for you."

"Well, you must have not been looking very hard." Sara remarked. "I've been in here since I closed my case a half hour ago."

"Oh."

Grissom had barely heard what she said. Sara had been reading a forensic journal with her brow slightly furrowed and biting her lip. She looked very Sara Sidle-ish, which made Grissom completely forget why he was looking for her in the first place.

Immediately recognizing Grissom's look of longing, Sara stood. They were toe to toe now. "Is there something you wanted?"

_It's worth the risk, _Grissom thought. "You could say that." he whispered, running his thumb over Sara's bottom lip.

Their faces gravitated towards each other. Just a little further and…

"**SHA LA LA LA LA LA, DON'T BE SCARED YOU GOT THE MOOD PREPARED, GO ON AND KISS THE GIRL!**"

Grissom and Sara sprang apart and turned to Catherine, Greg and Nick. They were standing in the doorway singing "Kiss the Girl".

"**SHA LA LA LA LA LA, DON'T STOP NOW, DON'T TRY TO HIDE IT HOW, YOU WANNA KISS THE GIRL!**"

Sara rolled her eyes. "I hate you guys." She walked out, Nick and Greg followed making kissing noises.

Catherine walked to the fridge. "I know you took your head out of the microscope and all." She took out a water bottle, "Don't get me wrong I'm happy for you guys. I just don't want to see the two of you make out like two horny teenagers."

Grissom glared at her. "We weren't making out."

"You were going to."

"Were not." Grissom had more self control than that.

"Were to."

"We sound like children." Grissom realized.

"You started it." Catherine said taking a sip of her water.

"No I didn't."

Catherine was in the hall when she said "Did to."

Before Grissom could retort with a witty 'did not', his phone vibrated. It was a text from Sara.

'_I'm in your office. Get in here and kiss the girl.'_

To which he replied: '_Close the blinds'_

He didn't want to be interrupted again.


	10. Payback

**A/N: **_They just keep getting shorter and shorter._

**Disclaimer: **_I hate having to repeat myself. I think we all understand I don't own anything._

_Oh, someone planned this, _thought Sara, _'because this is too perfect._

Nick Stokes was asleep. His head lay on the table, hands in his lap. Drool was beginning to pool around his open mouth. Nick wasn't snoring, but his breathing was heavy.

_To perfect to pass up,_ thought Sara. She made a mad dash to find the thickest, heaviest book she could. Sara returned with a thick entomology book. Nick, poor man, was still knocked out. Lifting the book over her head, Sara slammed it on the table.

"SON OF A …" Nick snapped back so fast he flew backwards out the chair. He looked around trying to wake up fully and figure out what the hell happened. The chair he had been sitting in was on the floor next to him and a thick book lay on the table.

Sara was doubled over laughing. One hand was on the table to steady her, the other held her stomach.

"Sara?" Nick started to put the pieces together. "What'd you do that for?"

Sara was laughing too hard to answer. Her side was beginning to ache and she couldn't breathe but she kept laughing.

Nick stood to his feet and rubbed his butt. He put the chair back in its upright position and glared at Sara. "That wasn't funny."

Sara finally caught her breath. "You're right, it wasn't funny…it was hilarious." She laughed again. "You should've seen yourself."

"What'd you do that for anyway?" He asked again.

"Payback Nick." She answered, picking up the book. "Sweet, sweet payback." She left the room and a confused Nick to return the book.

_Payback for what?_ Then it clicked.

"Oh come on Sara!" Nick called after her. "That was weeks ago!"

Greg walked up just then. "What was weeks ago?"

"She got me Greg."

"What do you mean she…"Greg's face changed from confusion to horror. "Oh my God, she got you."

Nick nodded his head sadly. "You better watch yourself Greg." He warned.

"How bad was it?"

"Scared me so bad I fell out my chair." Nick tried to sound casual.

Greg paled. "All you did was poke her." He was starting to panic. "I sat on her! I rubbed my butt on her legs, Nick!" Greg ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Maybe I should tell Grissom."

"No." Nick said quickly.

"Why not?"

"Grissom is going to want to know why you need protection from Sara. And if you tell the boss man you rubbed your ass on his girl…" Nick looked around. "There won't be a body to find."

Greg shook his head. "I'm screwed."


	11. Crazy

**A/N: **_..and shorter. Thanx for the reviews guys! Song 'Crazy' by Gnarls Barkley. Got the idea from THE GREAT GRAND PUBA!! You make me laugh._

**Disclaimer**: _No I don't own them. You don't have to rub it in my face...Asshole._

Warrick ran to the sink to spit out his coffee. "I thought Greg was making coffee tonight." He said, wiping his mouth.

"He hasn't made it yet." Grissom said from the couch.

Catherine was getting impatient. She loved Greg's coffee. "Where the hell is he?"

As if on cue Greg entered the break room, dancing. His earphones were blaring 'Crazy'. Greg sang along, his eyes shut.

"**I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind**."

Greg pulled his precious Blue Hawaiian from under his jacket. He then set to work preparing coffee. He was still singing and his eyes were still closed.

"**Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Possibly."**

While Greg let the coffee maker, well, make coffee, he danced. He started with the running man which morphed into the robot. Greg moon walked to get a cup and moon walked back to the coffee pot. His eyes were still closed.

Greg did pelvic thrusts as the song ended. **"Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe you're crazy. Maybe we're crazy. Probably."**

He finally opened his eyes and took out his earphones. Humming the song, Greg poured himself a cup and turned around.

Catherine gaped at him. Warrick looked offended. He loved that song. Grissom was just amused. Purely amused, there's no other way to put it.

"Coffee's done." Greg announced. He walked out like nothing happened.


	12. Funky Fridge

**A/N: **_Hello oh faithful readers. We're winding down._

**Disclaimer:**_ Nope, still don't own it. __Not__ yet._

Catherine walked into the break room only to be bitch slapped by a foul smell. She shook herself and looked around. The refrigerator door was open and someone was kneeling in front of it. Catherine recognized the low grumbling as Warrick's.

"War'?"

Warrick leaned back. His eyes look glazed and his nose and mouth were covered with doctor's mask.

"What's that smell?" she asked.

Warrick shook his head. "I don't know." He said warily. "So I'm throwing everything out." _Grissom's experiments be damned._

Catherine nodded. "You wanna do mine next?" she teased.

Warrick gave her a look before he disappeared behind the door again.

"HOLY HELL!!" Brass exclaimed from behind Catherine. He got bitch slapped too. "What's that smell?"

"Something in the fridge." Catherine answered. "Warrick's throwing everything out."

"More power to you, 'Rick." Brass replied. "It smells like death in here."

Catherine's eyes were starting to water. "I have yet to come across a decomp that smells as bad as this."

Brass thought for a moment. "You're right. It smells like death, ass, sweaty sex, shit and rotten eggs that was cooked altogether in a crock pot."

Warrick laughed. "I was gonna say ass, death and rotten eggs, but we'll go with yours."

Brass mock bowed. "Thanks 'Rick, I'm honored. I better get outta here before the smell seeps into my clothes."

"Right behind you Jim." Catherine stopped at the door. "Lemons." She said to Warrick.

"What?"

"Shower with lemons. I don't need my sheets smelling like death, ass, shit and rotten eggs." she said.

Warrick frowned. "What about sweaty sex?"

Catherine smirked. "That, I don't mind so much."


	13. Pretty Boy

**Disclaimer:** _Nope. Not at all._

_This isn't fun anymore._ Sara thought. _It's too easy._

Greg Sanders messed up when he fell asleep on the couch. Now Sara had a decision to make.

_Should I let it go and wait until I have a plan? Or…_

She clearly chose 'or' as she ran from the room to find Catherine.

* * *

"Greg." Sara shook him lightly. "Greg." He wouldn't wake.

Sara rolled her eyes and shoved her fingers up his nostrils. The lack of air caused Greg to wake and, when he saw Sara, leap away from her and the couch.

"I wasn't asleep!" Greg claimed. "Nope, just resting my eyes! Uh huh."

Sara suppressed a laugh. "It's okay. I didn't do anything." she lied.

"Why don't I believe you?" Greg asked skeptically.

She raised her hands in surrender. "I would never cause you bodily harm while you were sleeping."

Nothing felt too odd to Greg, so he had to trust her. "You just gave me a scare, that's all."

"Yeah sorry about that, but you needed to wake up. Wouldn't want anyone to take advantage of you." Sara said. "But it looks like your beauty sleep paid off."

Greg found that comment off, but decided to go with it. "Well thank you Sara." He winked. "Its hard work staying this sexy."

"I bet." Sara snorted.

Sofia chose that moment to walk in. "Hey Sara. Hey Greg." She had to double take when she saw Greg. "Wow." Sofia cocked her head. "You look…pretty."

Sara had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. "Were you looking for me?" she asked Sofia.

"Yeah, here." Sofia handed Sara some phone records but her gaze never left Greg's face.

"Thanks." Sara had to get Sofia out of the room before she gave anything away. "Can we talk for a sec?" Sofia nodded and Sara turned to Greg. "Later Greg." Not long after the girls left, Greg heard them laughing hysterically.

_Women, _Greg thought, moving towards the coffee machine.

"Ten bucks says the wife did it." Nick said to Warrick as they entered the break room.

"There is no way she could have stabbed him that deep." Warrick argued. "But if you don't mind parting with a Hamilton, I'd be more than happy to oblige."

Greg turned to face his friends. "Hey fellas."

Warrick and Nick stopped in their tracks. Both had a look of shock on their faces.

"What?" Greg asked.

Nick put his hands on his hips and smiled wide. He looked down at his boots, shaking his head. Warrick had covered his mouth with his hands. His eyes were watering up.

"What?" Greg asked again.

Warrick had somehow composed himself first, but he didn't answer. He just grabbed Nick's arm and walked, backward, out in the hall and towards the locker room.

_What was that about?_ Greg asked himself. He turned back around to pour his coffee.

Hodges walked in and threw a paper on the table. "Hey Sanders. Sara told me to bring you the trace results."

"Thanks." Greg turned to find that Hodges was staring at him.

"Ya know, I always thought there was something…different about you Sanders." Hodges said carefully. "I'm glad you know who you are." Hodges then hugged a very surprised Greg. "Just know that if this makes you happy, I'm happy for you." He released Greg and went back to his lab.

_There has got to be something in the water. _Greg dumped his coffee cup in the sink.

"I didn't think you knew how to waste coffee." Catherine commented.

"Yeah." Greg said, his back to her. "People are acting weird. Figured it was something in the water."

"Acting weird how?"

Greg turned to her. She was reading the paper Hodges left on the table. "Well, Sara wakes me up for no reason and then Sofia walks in and tells me I look pretty."

Catherine snorted and looked at him.

"Then Nick and Warrick come in and stare at me…much like you're doing right now."

Hand over mouth, Catherine tried to keep from laughing. Tears were forming.

"What?"

Catherine tried, she really did, but she wasn't strong enough. She burst into laughter. "So that's what she did with it." Catherine said aloud to herself.

"Who did what with what?" Greg asked. "What's going on?"

"Oh don't you worry your pretty little head about it." Catherine said patting his cheek. She left the room in a fit of giggles.

"WHAT THE HELL!!" Greg yelled.

"Keep your voice down, Greg." Grissom reprimanded. "People are trying to work."

"Yeah. Well people keep laughing at me and I don't know why." Greg rubbed his head in frustration. "I'm no clown."

Grissom's carefully placed poker face faltered for a moment.

"I better get back to work."

Grissom nodded in agreement. "You might want to take that makeup off your face first." Grissom advised. "That should make it easier for people to take you seriously."

Greg wiped his cheek and was horrorstruck when he saw blush on his fingers. He wiped his lips and, low and behold, there was lipstick.

_But how did…_Then Greg remembered who woke him up.

"SARA!"


	14. Owned

**Disclaimer:**_ a little anything I have say I own inside I to die don't everytime. _

"I'm whooping that ass, Henry." taunted Mandy. "I'm whooping that ASS!"

_How did a simple game of Halo 2 turn into this? _Henry thought. For Mandy was indeed 'whooping that ass.'

Initially, Henry thought it could be fun to spend his break going head to head with his co-workers. And maybe he was a bit reluctant when bets were made, but what the heck, he figured, they were in Vegas. What Henry wasn't expecting, however, was for Mandy to be so good at this game, not to mention cut throat.

"Go left Henry, left." Hodges instructed. "Not down, those are your feet!"

"Let him figure it out on his own." Wendy chided.

"You want him to lose."

Hodges and Wendy had already played. Their bet: whoever lost had to cook the winner breakfast after shift.

"Would you guys shut up?" Henry was irritated enough without them bickering. "I'm trying to concentrate."

Hodges scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Don't concentrate too hard or you'll blow yourself up again."

Henry dropped the controller and faced Hodges. "One time, okay? I blew myself up one time!"

"Another Needler!" Mandy exclaimed, completely oblivious to the argument. "Dual wielding!!"

"Actually, it was more like fives times that you blew yourself up." Wendy corrected.

"I'm going to kill you, Mr. Andrews." Mandy said in her Agent Smith from the Matrix voice. "And I'm going to enjoy every second of it."

Henry turned around in time to watch Mandy kill his character in the game. It was over, and Henry had lost viciously.

After Mandy finished her victory dance she patted Henry on the back. "Say it dude."

"And say it like you mean it." added Hodges.

Henry sighed and walked to where the hall meets the room. Bracing himself on the doorframe, Henry yelled "I AM MANDY WEBSTER'S BITCH!"

"Who owns you?" Mandy asked.

"You, master." answered Henry.

"Good boy." Mandy said. "Get back to work." She pinched his cheek and went to fingerprinting. Henry left as well, heading to toxicology.

"Well," Hodges said standing. "I better get back to work too. You know how Grissom depends on me."

Wendy laughed. "Since when?"

"You know what Simms?" Hodges tilted his head. "I want pancakes. Sausage, not bacon. And I like my eggs over hard." He gave her a smug grin and left her gaping after him.

**A/N: **_five points to the first person who tells me what the disclaimer says!!_


	15. Shenanigans

**A/N: **_Five points to __**SaraLou**__ because she hit the nail on the head and ten points to_ _**charming-kayleigh**__ because she showed me that there was two ways to say it..._

**Disclaimer: **_Of course I own them!! I own everything!!...Oh...I don't own anything?...Oh...sorry for the confusion._

It was Friday again. Only, Grissom was late this week. While waiting for Grissom, the others just hung out in the break room, cracking jokes and talking shit.

"You serious?" Warrick asked from the table.

"Why would I lie?" Greg said leaning back in his chair. "He just screamed 'I'm Mandy Webster's bitch' and went back to his lab."

Catherine was having trouble believing this. "Henry Andrews?"

"The one and only." Greg said.

Nick shook his head. "That's crazy."

"No, you know what is crazy?" Warrick asked, sitting up straighter. "Greg shaking his ass all over the place singing 'Crazy'."

"I believe it." Brass chuckled.

Sara leaned on the table. "No way! I missed that?"

"I think you've had your fill of entertainment from me, Miss Sidle." Greg mumbled.

Sara laughed. "Bet you guys won't mess with me when I'm trying to sleep again."

"Is that what the whole Makeup Incident was about?" asked Sofia.

"Makeup Incident? It has a name now?" Greg was embarrassed all over again. "And no one would tell me what was going on!"

"That would have killed Sara's fun." Catherine jested.

"And we don't want that do we?" Brass said seriously. "Kill Sara's fun and she might kill you."

"Or scare the crap outta you." Nick mumbled. "I still got a bruise."

Greg snickered. "Why don't you get Sofia to kiss it?"

"What?" Sofia exclaimed.

"You heard me." Greg smirked. "Don't act like you guys aren't swapping bodily fluids. I have it on good authority that you are."

"Good authority?" Catherine inquired. "Who?"

"Wendy and Hodges."

Sofia rolled her eyes. "Our definitions of 'good authority' clearly differ."

Warrick leaned forward. "You denying it?"

"No." Nick answered quickly. "But 'swappin bodily fluids' sounds so…primal."

"Would you prefer 'making love' Nicky?" Catherine teased.

Brass snorted. "I know you're not talking. You and your sweaty sex smelling bed sheets." Catherine gaped at him. "What, you thought I couldn't hear you?"

There was a pregnant pause, and then Greg started laughing hysterically.

Grissom showed up just then and looked at Greg quizzically. "What's so funny?"

"You know I just realized something." Greg said, wiping his eyes. "If someone were to put a camera in here, we'd all be screwed. I'm talking blackmail material up the wazoo!"

"How exactly is that funny?" Grissom asked.

"Well if you don't get it, it wasn't meant for you to get, Daddy-O." Greg replied.

"Who's to say there isn't a camera in here?" Archie pointed out, leaning on the doorframe. He had a backpack slung over one shoulder.

"Because if there was a camera in here, we'd have found it." Nick responded simply.

"Of course." Archie nodded.

Catherine's hunger pains were getting to her. "Grissom is here now so let's get this over with."

"Actually, I'm starving." Grissom said. "Breakfast is on me if we leave now."

"I'm down with that." Warrick said and everyone rose to their feet.

Archie moved out of the way of the civil servants. He could barely make out Greg's voice down the hall talking about how they should have their own TV show. Placing his backpack on the table, Archie made sure no one was watching him. Then, with the precision of a true A/V lab geek, he switched the tape and battery of the camera he hid in the break room.

Filming the room had started out innocent enough. He wanted to find out who made that horrible tasting coffee. But after watching CSI: Shenanigans, he would be stupid to stop filming.

Archie put the camera back in its hiding place and left the room, whistling. He was looking forward to some good laughs this weekend.

_**THE END**_


End file.
